Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
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he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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