Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
