Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
