I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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