did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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