did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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