I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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