My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
