Pants 0. Shit 1.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
