I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
