No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
