get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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