I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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