Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
