what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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