We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just forgot I was standing up.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
