fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
