i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
