seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
