so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
