can u get pink eye on your cock?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
