no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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