yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
