he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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