That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
