i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
