Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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