This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
