I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
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