I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
