Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
