I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
the liver wants what the liver wants
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
