Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When are your genitals available?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
