"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
