College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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