I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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