Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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