I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
