Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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