I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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