My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
