girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize