No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
