you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
