ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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