ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
