Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
