I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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