honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize