The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
