You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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