ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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