so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
