I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
