is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
