you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
