can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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