If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you told grandpa to call you daddy
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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