Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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