they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
