i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
