She's JV to your varsity
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
