I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
