I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
