do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
