where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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