$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
